When will I get to land? - story of part 3

All the surviving stories (I, II, and part of III) have been scanned. Tomorrow or maybe the day after I shall probably type them up in their original context. It's all classic stuff. I mean things like "John readed it" must give a grin on everyone's face not to mention the way the second story is written. Anyway moving on.

Here's a synopsis of the stories. If you want to wait until tomorrow or the day after to find out what happens in these stories then just don't read the following but it's not as if these are huge novels so it doesn't really matter.

Anyway. Characters: John Barrel, Polly, Captain Bang, the crew.

John Barrel is really a simple sailor working on a er some kind of cargo ship which carries things like barrels though judging from the ship's name: The drunk man's barrel, you can pretty much tell anyway what goes in these barrels. Yes nice lemonade. Hee hee, nah you know what it is. One day while possibly slacking off in his daily chores, John is caught and to make an example of him, Captain Bang throughs him over board which basicly is what the whole story is about. John isn't unpopular with his fellow crew members but he isn't exactly their hero. To say anymore would be to look too deeply into a simple story.

Polly is a parrot who can speak fluent english even though she is only a parrot. John finds her on a small (very small) island and they become friends instantly. How she came to be on that island is left a mystery until the fourth story which is sadly lost along with her past.

Captain Bang was once a pirate who had enough, gone straight and begun his life again. This is common knowledge among the crew of his ship: the drunk man's barrel, though no one can prove this which explains why he's allowed to work in this field. In the story Bang is getting old and his sanity is rather wonky. He is now basically a loony and threatens people to obey him. Bang isn't a real villain just a poor man who is out of his mind and doesn't know what he's doing.

The crew are well the crew. They are mentioned but never say anything. And that's really all that can be said about them.

Story.

The first story is about the adventure of John Barrel after he is thrown over board. After finding Polly on that island and setting out in the barrel again, he is rescued by the ship er hats with sails in the shape of hats.

The second story takes place obviously some time after the first. John is now back on land and not working. (How he can survive on no money is unknown but there you go). He lives quite happily with Polly until one day. While walking along the coast John and Polly find a barrel bobbing about in the sea. In it is a call for help in the form of a letter from John's old crew. It turns out that Bang has completely flipped and they are all in danger. How that barrel arrived at where John lived is a rather comical mystery. Anyway John buys a boat and sets sail to his old ship. After three hours rowing in a dingy he finds the ship out at sea. Don't point out the plot holes everyone else already has. He gets aboard and threatens Bang before fighting. John wins and Bang is thrown over board to swim back to land.

The third story is set a while after the second. John has begun a new life on the drunk man's barrel. What rank he is and (if it's high) how he got there is something we won't get into. Anyway while talking to Polly, John discovers that Polly has gone quiet. She has been trapped in a cage and the culprit is none over than Captain Bang out for revenge. The whole story is one final battle between John and Bang in which Bang looses a hand and ( we think seeing as half of it is missing) falls into the sea to be eaten by sharks. Thus ends the adventures of John Barrel and Polly.

The fourth story is a prequel. Life is good now that John's adventures are over and the two heroes can relax and move on. The story is basically John asking how Polly came to be on the island on which he found her so far out at sea. Polly tells her life's story, where she came from and how she learnt to speak english. This all of course leads to her being on the island. What was in that story is lost since it was not among the other stories that were found.

Anyway either tomorrow or the day day after I'll put up the When will I get to land stories somewhere. Maybe not on the main page as they'll take up too much space but anyway there you go. Until then.

When will I get to land? - story of part 2

Ah it seems like we have a request. Because of events beyond the control of the great powerful......ok slightly tired Rob, there have been few posts recently. Ok Rob is working on a project and yes it's a joint effort between him and a friend and no we strictly refused to take part no matter how much Rob begged us. Funny story about that will tell you another time. Anyway all will be revealed soon enough.

Still until then let's return to the old "when will I get to land" thing. The things in a real mess of paper. And the writing's huge and wonky. Even Rob can't make it out. Sadly it seems the fourth story (written a little later in Rob's life and probably the best of them) is missing.

I'll get the story's scanned and uploaded and retyped for anyone who wants to have a wee peek at how a child writes.

The fourth story was really a prequel which followed the life of the parrot (Polly) which led her to where she was in the first story. As Rob recalls it answered the question how can Polly speak. By the way has anyone ever seen the film Paulie? Oh come on it isn't that bad!! No soul some people. By the way original Polly (that's Rob's Polly written many years before that film by the way) was male but after hearing that Polly was a girl's name he became a she. Although Polly can really be both, oh come on it's a parrot for crying out loud!!! Sheesh who let these people in? Ok Rob's just slapped me for that terrible joke. Where's my lawyer? Anyway I forget if Polly is described as male in the first story. Will have to read it properly.

Anyway come back tomorrow for more. Rob wants to use the computer again. The other's broken. You know he even wants his website back. We changed the password two years back and won't tell him what it is. Hee hee.

In a dark dusty corner of some mysterious cave, a missing link to the past was uncovered. An old story written by Rob oh so many years ago. It's the sort of thing that a famous author would find and sell somewhere like ebay for a small fortune to some weird huge fan (aka nerd no offense to anyone out there). You know maybe I should be come a famous author or something. Then I'll show them. I'll show them good. Bwaha ha ha ha ha. Ahem.

Anyway the "When will I get to land" quadrilogy began with Rob as quite a small child rocking on a stool thing in a holiday house. He pretended he was a drift on the sea and it was then that his old friend inspiration struck as it always does: a sudden hit ( as if from a gun) that makes you suddenly long for a pencil and paper so you can write and write and write but also leaves as quickly as it arrives leaving you bored and fed up with what you've only half written.

The series of 4 stories are probably Rob's oldest pieces of completed writing. Done when he was about er 9-10 and not bad plot wise. It starred John barrel who was a drift in (yep) a barrel. My thought's exactly. And his friend parrot named (wait for it) Polly.

A great find since it was thought to be lost. If you want to hear more about it you need only ask. Until then I won't bore you.

Is spring here yet?

Leaving the work place of Rob today a warmish evening was out there to great er who am I talking about again? Ah huh. Er, I'm still lost. I can't say Rob seeing as what I said earlier. Hey at least I got a pass in english unlike some people in this office. What office? Er the office I just made up. What? Shut up or I quit. Hey I'm trying to write here go away.

THAT DOES IT!!!!!! Fellow writers of Rob, We're on strike!!!!! What do you mean you don't want to? Come on! Rob can't treat us like this!! Oi let me go!! Not there don't throw me there!!!!

Yep you've guessed it. Yet another day of Rob. The key to success is a staff of loyal writers ( which is something that these new guys just don't understand). They just don't make em like they used to.

anyway the point of all this is that everyone here is pining for spring and it looked as though it had arrived early today but who knows. See the old writer's always get the job done unlike these kids. We may not have the writting skills or anything at all but there you go. Make no sense? Good. It's not meant to.

Busy busy dead.

Things have never been so busy over here in Rob's er office/mansion/pit prison/slave labour camp.

With winter being so friggin' cold and boring Robonthenet is sort of on and off. Normal service will continue as soon as Rob's finished this extra extra large burger with fries. It's taken him two months but he's getting through it. Greedy bugger.

Er Rob where you get that burger anyway? Oh oh. Er doctor?

To be continued.